Rock of Love Bus - Bald Headed Smoking Hot Video
Have you seen the video Rock of Love Bus with bald headed Bret Michaels???
The bus - it’s where the action occurs on Rock of Love. Bret Michaels and his girls are rocking the bus in a new season of big boobed Rock Of Love Bus.
Riding the road of love with big breasted women in pigtails and short shorts!
watch the video to see it all for yourself. (read more…)
Ding Dong the Bitch is Dead
Ding Dong the Bitch is Dead by Roxanne McDonald
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Finally! Bret got rid of Lacey. Eww. I’m still shaking off the slimy feelings. |
My friends who are also appreciators of TV came to visit this weekend. And though they don’t get into as many or the same reality TV shows I do, they patiently sat through not only the episode of “Rock of Love” where Lacey gets the boot but my explicit backstory on each of the remaining contenders and summaries of critiques by other TV writers of “Rock of Love” as a “train wreck” of a show.
Before I even fully expressed how much “we” can’t stand Lacey, one of my friends was shouting out how evil she looked and acted. He also got hooked on how funny Bret is in the interviews…, you know, when he does his mocking commentaries such as how those big breasts on blondie convinced him they could have a beautiful relationship. Grin.
But almost more delightful an experience than having my friends as company or enjoying Bret’s satire was watching Lacey implode, burn, and crash. Finally…, Heather gets hep to her two-faced, manipulative bullshit. Finally…, somebody [Heather] calls Lacey on her lies. And finally…, Bret gets equally hep and gives up the hope of Lacey being the underhanded, back-stabbing, front fouling hag she is.
And worse, but maybe what helped push Bret over the edge of real reality, was how appalling Lacey’s father was, as well.
Philosophy 101: Bursting the Bret Reality Bubble
Philosophy 101: Bursting the Bret Reality Bubble by Roxanne McDonald
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And getting the pieces stuck all over our faces in the process. |
I don’t know whether to be disappointed the denial cannot be denied or pissed people can’t leave a good bawdy and rollicking show alone. Bret and Kristi Lynn Gibson rock in love.
Okay, so “Rock of Love” aint no Oscar/Emmy-Award-winning entertainment fare. So the only reason so many would recommend it to others is to be able to share in the poking of fun. So what? It sure beats watching golf. And so what Michaels is using the reality TV venue as a platform for self-aggrandizement?
Did ya happen to catch the shameless and utterly dreadful and dull half-hour-long commercials for The Parker? I’d choose watching Bret test the tit factor on “Rock of Love” over having to sit through one more episode of overgrown Peter Pans wrecking a hotel room that takes twenty minutes to discuss by hotel reps plugging the greatness and the monetary damage and the amount of money some unknowns spend on a room, food, a pool, and a bed. Snnnnnore.
So I get the need to break innocuous bubbles, or I recognize the need to jump on the reality TV wreckers’ wagon and pretend this is the first time it has been announced that Bret is posing for publicity…not looking for love. But [if it IS true], do ya have to ruin it for those who prefer to stay in love with former Poison front man and present day solo rocker Bret Michaels?
Nobody said anything at first, as we devoted TV bloggers wrote of the promise of what we hoped would be another kind of show in the minority—rocker-flavored reality. Nobody balked about appearances or truths. That is, not until somebody caught wind of the efforts a middle-aged man was making [or had made, given that “Rock of Love” was pre-recorded] to keep his life going strong.
What do some people have against aging? Why so cruel about the hair and the hat? Who says [besides, like, three yahoos on a message board] that Michaels is a has-been?
And did ya have to ruin the fantasy that is “Rock of Love” by announcing that Bret is living a quiet, settled-down, and happily married life in Arizona?
Tiffany Two-Fisted Making No More Music for Bret
Tiffany Two-Fisted Making No More Music for Bret by Roxanne McDonald
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Thank god she had run out of chances, had used up her three strikes within the first two episodes. |
I’m not sure how much more of the sloppy slutty thing I could have stood. Yeah, yeah, the whole keep-her-cause- it’s-good-TV wasn’t even excuse enough.
As Big John said, shaking his serious head, “There’s one in every bunch” or, “There’s always one.”
In the case of Bret Michaels’ “Rock of Love,” there are, however more than one we can keep our horrified eyes on.
Tiffany, Faith, and Tawny are out. Okay, so while Faith was so pretty and perfect for a Harley sidecar, she was pretty unremarkable, didn’t have a connection for Bret, and thinks, as I believe I heard (though I am still shaking my head as if I had been slammed on it with one of the Les Pauls), that she is “too good” for Bret.
Almost topping that were the exit remarks of Tawny the Teeny-brained…who had little more to say than if she were smart she guesses she would have stayed longer and, oh, btw, Bret, it’s pronounced Tam (as in ham) ara, not Tahmahra.
As the huffers huff and puff, poof bye-bye, the remaining 12 promise to kick each others asses or make more of themselves as asses, too. These are the women still in contention:
No-Threat Bret
No-Threat Bret Rocks the Narration by Roxanne McDonald
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We already knew he was hot; we already knew he was talented; we already knew he was articulate. Now we know Bret Michaels is hil-ar-ee-ous. |
Since I did a sort-of recap—or ragging and ripping on most of the “Rock of Love” competitors for Bret’s heart and soul on TV Robot—I thought I would review his commentaries… which I found delightfully funny and fun most of the time and when not funny sensitive and lovely and respectful.
In his introductory comments, Bret explains his motivation on the show, his intentions to merge finding those he can be friends with and those he typically just has sex with…to, hence, make the “Rock of Love.”
Also in his explanation of what kind of woman he needs, he says she will need to be hot, cool, sexy, and be able to deal with the insanity that is, after all, he acknowledges, Rock and Roll—his one insatiable hot bitch godess.”
I love that combination of words/adjectives. Heh.
Look What the Vh1 Cats Dragged In: The Women of Rock of Love
Look What the Vh1 Cats Dragged In: The Women of Rock of Love by Roxanne McDonald
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Interviews, audition videos, and bios and bio pics reveal the hearts, minds, and spirits of the women hoping to rock Bret Michaels with love. |
Some of us are still looking into how (according to Vh1 “Rock of Love” pages) Bret came to “hand pick” the twenty babes in contention for the title of Rock God Girlfriend, as we never got the memo to audition, so as I survey the 20 “Rock of Love” candidates, I will likely tend toward a tincture of sarcasm…on behalf of all the darling women who truly wish they could have been invited to try for wooing the foxy Poison frontman:
Bonnie – hails from both New Jersey and Florida (neither of which is a hometown, neither of which is a town, btw). Last relationship ended on New Year’s Eve (but which year?) and it likely ended less than violently, as Bonnie hates conflict. Looking like a wise Chyna Doll, she appears to not have a problem laying out anyone who would dare cross her. Her fear of spiders is overshadowed by her favorite piece of clothing—her Lynyrd Skynyrd panties. Ummm, wouldn’t that be considered a conflict of interest at best, an anticlimactic disappointment for Bret at worst?
Brandi C. [Uh, oh. That means we have more than one Brandi with an ‘i’] Oh, dear, this massage [which is spelled wrong on the site] therapy student who calls Orlando, Florida her hometown appears way too blonde and way too spoiled: okay, the toxic blonde shade was for her Marilyn Monroe work for Universal Studios and likely in hopes, as she tells Vh1, of being featured in Playboy. But her boobs were a gift from Mommy and Daddy. That’s just wrong.
Brandi M. [Yep] from Buffalo, New York might be just as challenging a potential mate, not so much for being a brat but for having her eye on more than one pie. This contender (and bear with me as I make a very hasty generalization) has six tattoos, can put her whole fist in her mouth, and stays single because there is too much “temptation”. Bret is going to have his work cut out for him with this one, who despite being one of the most natural-looking and prettiest of the group, seems likely to be one to Play Dirty, baby.
Cindy, the personal trainer from Newman, Georgia, looks pretty real, too. And she even wears cowboy hats (and sometimes in bed). Plus, she has a seven-year-old, so the parental instinct will be something she and Bret can align on. Though I am not sure how her collecting swords will have much to do with anything—maybe props for Bret’s music videos?
Dallas hails from, appropriately, Texas. She has kind of Barbie Doll features, and this probably bodes well when she is out on calls to sell her fashion designs. On the dark side of Barbie, however, is her love for her idol, Marylin Manson. We might never have guessed.
Erin from Bloomington, Illinois is also somewhat attractive—in a half-wholesome half-Hollywood way. She comes with an eclectic past: she was Miss Hooters (oh, boy) of Illinois, 2002; she was once engaged (don’t know if there’s a cause and effect thing there); and her dad is police chief in a small town in the state. By the way, though, Miss Hooters also graduated with honors in 3 ½ years instead of four. She could be the one Bret takes to the backseat of the old man’s Ford, but she could also sustain a conversation on something beyond dirty talk.
Faith from Beckley, West Virginia might also give Bret a run for his money…or mind. She has a chemistry degree from Ohio State, can play piano, and is really pretty. Not only does this self-described friendly and down-to-earth person have a similar look to Bret (in the eyes), but she has similar talents and sentiments I bet Bret will find simpatico with his.
Heather, hailing from Columbus, Ohio, looks familiar. Can you say Jackie Collins? This former Scores, Las Vegas dancer who describes herself as a tomboy has been more like Joan Collins, though: she notes how she has “been in several catfights” in the past, because [she thinks] women are always jealous of her. Maybe old Heather was tossed in here for good TV?
Jes, the licensed cosmetologist from Naperville, Illinois, also looks familiar—but more like a Cyndi Lauper meets Melanie Griffith. I’m not sure pink of the Punk days makes for a Poisonesque appearance, but Jes has gifts that might just jive: she has never been unfaithful to a boyfriend, is self-defined as very independent, and touts 9 piercings and 4 tats. A firebrand who might keep it interesting for Bret.
Jessica from Elk Grove, Illinois is another Hooters veteran. Sigh. I’m already bored. A waitress at Hooters, a college senior, and an adventurous (seemingly) gal who once stripped for one whole month, Jessica should not be underestimated, however. She has a vengeful side and a sample to prove it: she once caught a boyfriend cheating, so she cheated on him…with his friend. Oh, man, the codes of the street shattered, Bret just might be singing a Blame it on You tune with this one.
Bret Michaels Still Rocks
Bret Michaels Still Rocks by Roxanne McDonald
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And now he will do so on TV, with a new rocker dating show wherein he searches for a partner who can keep up, put up, and, well, shut up? |
Shut up about the rocker lifestyle, that is. Evidently, Bret Michaels (front man for Poison) has relationship problems when it comes to having a love accept the amount of time he spends on and with his first love: rock.
So the songwriter and singer with multi-platinum success that continues to this day has engaged in a search—an on-the-air, reality televised search—to find a mate who will be able to hang as a backstage VIP.
I already wrote about the upcoming “Rock of Love” to show on Vh1 starting on July 15, so here I offer the profile/bio that the contending rock lovers (Bret lovers) will be experiencing—along with jet-setting, tour bus partying, and rubbing elbows with Bret’s fellow celebs (according to StarPulse and Vh1 press releases).
