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Philosophy 101: Bursting the Bret Reality Bubble
Philosophy 101: Bursting the Bret Reality Bubble by Roxanne McDonald
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And getting the pieces stuck all over our faces in the process. |
I don’t know whether to be disappointed the denial cannot be denied or pissed people can’t leave a good bawdy and rollicking show alone. Bret and Kristi Lynn Gibson rock in love.
Okay, so “Rock of Love” aint no Oscar/Emmy-Award-winning entertainment fare. So the only reason so many would recommend it to others is to be able to share in the poking of fun. So what? It sure beats watching golf. And so what Michaels is using the reality TV venue as a platform for self-aggrandizement?
Did ya happen to catch the shameless and utterly dreadful and dull half-hour-long commercials for The Parker? I’d choose watching Bret test the tit factor on “Rock of Love” over having to sit through one more episode of overgrown Peter Pans wrecking a hotel room that takes twenty minutes to discuss by hotel reps plugging the greatness and the monetary damage and the amount of money some unknowns spend on a room, food, a pool, and a bed. Snnnnnore.
So I get the need to break innocuous bubbles, or I recognize the need to jump on the reality TV wreckers’ wagon and pretend this is the first time it has been announced that Bret is posing for publicity…not looking for love. But [if it IS true], do ya have to ruin it for those who prefer to stay in love with former Poison front man and present day solo rocker Bret Michaels?
Nobody said anything at first, as we devoted TV bloggers wrote of the promise of what we hoped would be another kind of show in the minority—rocker-flavored reality. Nobody balked about appearances or truths. That is, not until somebody caught wind of the efforts a middle-aged man was making [or had made, given that “Rock of Love” was pre-recorded] to keep his life going strong.
What do some people have against aging? Why so cruel about the hair and the hat? Who says [besides, like, three yahoos on a message board] that Michaels is a has-been?
And did ya have to ruin the fantasy that is “Rock of Love” by announcing that Bret is living a quiet, settled-down, and happily married life in Arizona?
Is the whole show, therefore, a sham, a lie, a set-up for a shill effort to gain new publicity?
Come on, we all GET it. You have just discovered that reality is surreality, reality is hyperreality, reality is UN-reality, and you just have to announce that the Bret Michaels manifest is nothing more than a way for someone known or unknown to make some money. Uh…, yuh. What reality show isn’t, to some degree, a platform for the “cast” to get new or continued exposure? And what doorknob doesn’t already have this notion noted, discussed, and way worn out by people coming along ten years later and pointing out the Emperor has no clothes!?
We laughed at his little wee wee a long time ago, folks.
I ask (often rhetorical) questions because it has come to our attention the few bothering to blast Bret Michaels’ “Rock of Love” are focused on how the women vying for his love are actually all MySpace friends and/or women wanting their fifteen minutes of fame; how Bret is actually “married” to, or still with, Kristi Lynn Gibson, and is just doing a publicity stunt as old as the Orson Welles War of the Worlds mega-panic “news” production; and how as people who have known Bret for decades, they wonder how he can do this kind of debauchery, how his “wife” is putting up with it, and how the rest of us should therefore not “believe” everything we see on TV.
Maybe some want to believe there is a chance Bret is single and looking. Maybe some want to trust there is a chance they could be a potential love of his. And maybe some of us just want to forget for a minute that reality television as a genre is hurtling with breakneck speed toward the Running Man mystique we are all inevitably bound for being doomed to, scripted, outcome-controlled, pre-determined, and fake as it is.
The entertainment factor, the reality TV participation or passive viewing, and the money [where applicable] is for all concerned quite real.
SirLinksAlot Rock of Love links
Images of Kristi Lynn Gibson
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