Ding Dong the Bitch is Dead

Ding Dong the Bitch is Dead by Roxanne McDonald

Finally! Bret got rid of Lacey. Eww. I’m still shaking off the slimy feelings.

My friends who are also appreciators of TV came to visit this weekend. And though they don’t get into as many or the same reality TV shows I do, they patiently sat through not only the episode of “Rock of Love” where Lacey gets the boot but my explicit backstory on each of the remaining contenders and summaries of critiques by other TV writers of “Rock of Love” as a “train wreck” of a show.

Before I even fully expressed how much “we” can’t stand Lacey, one of my friends was shouting out how evil she looked and acted. He also got hooked on how funny Bret is in the interviews…, you know, when he does his mocking commentaries such as how those big breasts on blondie convinced him they could have a beautiful relationship. Grin.

But almost more delightful an experience than having my friends as company or enjoying Bret’s satire was watching Lacey implode, burn, and crash. Finally…, Heather gets hep to her two-faced, manipulative bullshit. Finally…, somebody [Heather] calls Lacey on her lies. And finally…, Bret gets equally hep and gives up the hope of Lacey being the underhanded, back-stabbing, front fouling hag she is.

And worse, but maybe what helped push Bret over the edge of real reality, was how appalling Lacey’s father was, as well.

Let’s see, now.

Did he REALLY accidentally come upon Heather in her bedroom getting changed and actually STAY in the room…, not only STAY in the room but recline on the bed as if she were giving him a private show, gratis??!! My friend visiting was on the edge of his seat and gaping at this bloody invasiveness, deciding, he said, that it was easy enough to see how Lacey was who she was. Ew.

And then, did he REALLY have the chutzpah to tell Bret he expects his little girl will get a pre-nup? Uh, Mr. Lacey, or whatever your name is, do you not know how much money Mr. Michaels has? LOLOL. And who said anything about marriage, never mind to Lacey?? Bret of course handled this with the utmost tact and straightfaced seriousness.

And then, THENNNN, that icky old coot returned to Bret [who was TRYing to blow off the stress of these OddParents out on the punching bag deck], and proceeded to discuss, as Bret horrifyingly reports, how many blowbeeps his daughter has beep beep beep beeped in comparison to blah blah blah!!!

Okay, no. And again, ew.

EEEEnough is enough, and Bret finally, after saving that VIP for the freak every week as we at home scream noooooo, withheld the honor on this the second to last or third to last [if they sneak in a recap/montage/reunion episode] week of the show. Of what my friends acknowledged in a mortified whisper by the end of the hour was a yes, “train wreck” of a show, but one we rocker, Bret Michaels, Poison fans love nonetheless.

SirLinksAlot Rock of Love links

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